Why and How You Should Stop Judging Yourself Featured Image with Black Women with Curly Fro Looking

Why & How You Should Stop Judging Yourself

I don’t know about you, but I’m EXTREMELY hard on myself!

If I’ve had an awkward exchange with a stranger, should have said something to someone but didn’t, or said something that I didn’t need to say, I feel guilty almost immediately.

I start to wonder if I am really this nice, sweet and compassionate person that I think I am, and who others describe me as.

I realized that I am this way with other people, but when it comes to me, I cut myself NO slack. Perfection is the ONLY option for Sharee Silerio!

The problem with this though, is that I will never be perfect! Nor was I created to be perfect! I was created to grow, progress, and change for the better, little by little, each day.

You see, when we begin to determine our worth, what we deserve, or who we can become on what we did or didn’t do right, what we should or could have been or said in this or that moment, then we focus on what we weren’t instead of what and who we were at the time. We lose the lesson in comparing ourselves to flawlessness, forgetting the fact that it is through these moments that we become more wonderful.

Self-criticism shows up in our lives in the ways we treat, view and judge others. We treat others the way we treat ourselves, so if we judge others it is because we judge ourselves.

Jesus instructed us to “Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39 (NIV); emphasis mine).

We love others the same way we love ourselves. So what you give to yourself you will also give to your family, friends, strangers and loved ones.

In addition, if you judge yourself, then you will more than likely care about other people judging you.

In 1 Corinthians 4:3-4 (NIV), Paul said “I do not even judge myself…It is the Lord who judges me”.

The only one who is adequately and rightfully able to judge you or anyone else is God. Only God can (and should) judge you, and the same goes for the way we view and treat other people!

So free yourself of judgment, so you may live the most whole, forgiving, abundant, loving life that you are meant to live!

Free yourself from ALL judgment by realizing that you are valuable in your imperfection, regardless of what you or anyone else thinks! So how can you do this? You do this by realizing seven things.

7 WAYS TO STOP JUDGING YOURSELF

  1. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Only God is!
  2. Recognize that you will NEVER be perfect! Remember: PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION!
  3. Mistakes are a part of this journey called life. The only way to discover who you are and who you can become is to make mistakes; some of them might be life changing, and some of them might be hurtful to others, but they all make you who you are. Let them mold you instead of destroy you.
  4. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Everyone has them, so be kind to yourself. The more you forgive yourself, the more you’ll be able to forgive others. Practice with yourself first.
  5. Don’t take criticism to heart; listen to it, filter it and analyze whether or not it applies, then consider its source. Everyone doesn’t have your best interest at heart; some want to bring you down to the level of self-esteem, self-love, or value they have for themselves.
  6. Believe that God does not love you because you are perfect, He loves you because He created you, regardless of what you do or don’t do, the mistakes you make, your flaws, etc.
  7. Know that ONLY God can judge; because God is the only one who can see the motivations, limits, wounds, etc. of the heart. Humans can only see the outward condition for the most part; what people look like, what they say, what they do. Everything begins and ends with the heart. Everything we do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)).

The next time you are tempted to judge yourself or someone else, ask yourself the following questions: How can I use this moment to become better or do better next time? Am I judging this person for something that I see and judge in myself?

Are you critical of yourself? If so, how has it affected you? How will you start to love yourself more?

Be loved. Love you. Be love.

sincerely-sharee-signature-logo-gold-heart-cropped2

*Photo Credit: CreateHER Stock

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